Aftercare
Aftercare
At Davis Funerals the care of our client families continues beyond the funeral. Our aftercare services include our Grief Support Programme, Christmas Memorial Services, advice on memorialisation, or simply answering those questions you need answered. It is important to us that we are here for our families whenever they need us.
Grief Support Programme
In 2009 Davis Funerals launched their Grief Support Programme. We offer this complimentary service to our client families, thus extending our care beyond the funeral. The programme begins when Chris Austin, our certified Grief Support Facilitator, personally contacts the family to invite them to participate in our Grief Support Programme. The six week Grief Support Programme consists of 6 two hour sessions led by Chris, who has many years experience in Lifeline, Presbyterian Support Services and the funeral industry.
Session 1: Begins a process of acknowledging emotions, recognising symptoms and developing peer support
Session 2: Covers the sharing of stories and recognising similarities and differences
Session 3: Consists of looking at how we communicate our needs and what happens when they are not met
Session 4: Involves how we can care for ourselves and each other physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially and spiritually
Session 5: Looks at anger and guilt; how to recognise it and what we can do with it
Session 6: Reviews the previous session and how we have begun to reconcile our grief; moving forward towards living comfortably with our loss.
We offer this service to guide and support you through your grief on a journey of healing. The programme can also provide you with a network of ongoing support from the other people in your group. We have a comprehensive library for your use, and can refer you to other resources for more in depth counselling should it be necessary.
Please call Chris direct on 623 9545
for more information or to book a place on the
next course.
What is grief?
Grief is an intense and internal experience. For some it is an inside emptiness – a fear –
a panic- loneliness – anger – guilt – longing – depression.
Mourning is different from grief in that is an expression of sorrow and sadness for a dead person. Mourning is a manifestation of sorrow, something we display outwardly to friends and family which is often symbolised by the wearing of black clothing.
Grief is a very normal process after any loss we experience. The intensity of the grief you feel is relative to the depth of love that was held for that person. “Grief is Love – with no place to go” Alan Taplow.
We all experience grief differently, and every time we have a loss the experience will be different from before. Our emotions can be all over the place, changing from moment to moment and can leave us feeling totally overwhelmed and unable to function. This is a normal response to grief. There is a very busy time between the death and the funeral and immediately after, when there are organisations to notify, letters to write, people to thank. Then after a few weeks when things begin to quieten down and everyone else goes back to their “normal lives”, you may struggle to find where you now belong in this world without your loved one.
Why do we grieve?
Grief is the price we pay for loving, but who would not want to love or be loved! By opening ourselves up to love, we also expose ourselves to many other emotions, both joyful and painful. Often it is the fear of forgetting or letting go of a loved one that stops us working through the process of our grief. If we can give those fears the light of day by expressing them openly the pain of the loss will slowly diminish, the memories will still remain. We learn to convert our relationship with the person who died from one of interactive presence to one of appropriate memory.
By allowing yourself to grieve you grow as a person, you can become more compassionate, more loving and more open to others. By holding the grief in, all your energy is taken up with trying to contain your pain and this can lead to exhaustion, vulnerability and maybe even long term depression.
Ways to help with grief
There are many ways to work through the grief process, the most important of which is to express your grief in what ever way is appropriate for you. Remember each tear shed is a step closer to healing. Having people around who are willing to hear your story, be supportive and non-judgemental and shedding tears will assist your grieving.
Testimonials
“You have been a wonderful, kind, caring leader of the group and it has been most beneficial. Please pass on my thanks to Davis Funerals. How great that this firm cares for people even after they have ‘completed their job’ as it were. My heartfelt thanks.”
“It was most helpful to express one’s feelings in an understanding environment. It has helped me come to terms with what has happened.”
“The anger and guilt session helped me a lot. The course was well worthwhile and I couldn’t have coped as well as I am now without it.”
“It was helpful having people going through the same experience as myself and being able to talk about it.”
“An excellent first step towards independence, meeting new people and feeling happier
in myself.”
“You don’t have to ‘get over’ grief”
Grief is a bit like the weather really. Sometimes the weather is fine and sunny. Or maybe there’s a big storm, and everything gets dark for a while. Then it clears up and the sun comes out again. At other times it’s grey and cloudy day after day, and it feels like the sun will never come out again. But it does. Grief is like that too. It’s always changing, and it never goes away. Grief isn’t something you get over, especially when you’re older. Your losses just become part of you. For a lot of people, grief over a loss in their life is something that doesn’t always bother them, but it never completely goes away either. As with the weather, there are good days and bad days. You don’t always like it, but you learn to live with it.”
“Riding the Storms” Lois Tonkin (1999)
Christmas Memorial Services
Every year we hold a Christmas Memorial Service at each of our three branches for the families we have cared for during the year. This is a time to take a moment to reflect on family members who have passed away during the year. It is an opportunity for a decoration ‘in memory of your loved one’ to be placed on our Christmas Tree. Following the service we offer light refreshments and an environment to share fellowship.
“Thank you for a wonderful and moving special Christmas remembrance service”
